Adulting. Ugh. I love that this is now a thing. There are various definitions of “adulting” ranging from having a job or paying bills to making life changing decisions and caring for little humans. I feel that in my 20 years of being in the “legal age” bracket, I can honestly say that I've never really felt the harrows of adulting until this past year... making major changes that effect more than my singular, seemingly insignificant self. I'm not saying that having children is what truly makes you an adult, I'm just saying that for me, life was life and I never really did much to change things. Stuff happened and I rolled with it. That was me. That was it. But these days, there is decision making left and right and up and down! Sugar or sweetener, dayhome or daycare or why am I even working, cereal or toast, shower or dry shampoo (again), 21-day Fix or all of the chocolate, roman blinds or curtains, quit my job or apply for a new one, vasectomy or birth control, go to bed at a reasonable hour or Netflix it up when the kids go to bed? The struggle is real. Some choices, ya know, not so difficult. But some are really ones that I never in my wildest dreams thought would be things I would be thinking about. But I do. Daily. Adulting. Ugh.
And now that I'm this "adult", I have to actually deal with change. What's best for me? What's best for them? I have to help my children deal with change. Transitions. Bite me. After moving in September, the dust is finally starting to settle. There is a semblance of order to our lives. There are nights of almost complete sleep. Almost. Yeah, I'm exaggerating. They aren't very close to almost yet... but the rest of it is there. Routine and consistency and not-McDonald's every second night. This is my definition of success. Everyone tells me that the sleep will come and holy hell am I ever betting on that. With all of this responsibility for change and dealing with the fallout, I am very glad that I am an adult... so I can buy and drink all the wine.
There are moments when the thoughts creep in. “I remember when...” and “Wouldn't it be great if...” and “I really miss...” We had our favourite restaurants that we went to whenever, we bought all the things we wanted, we went to see every movie and every band that came to town and I never ever cared if a show was on a weekday. I went to the gym! I actually cooked without a crockpot! I wore make up and owned more than one real bra! But I didn't have impromptu dance parties before dinner. I didn't get to watch anyone learn to read or write or see them make friends. I didn't get snotty face prints on my pants because someone loved me so much that they needed to hug me so hard one more time before I went to work. These are the things that make adulting much less daunting. If this is where I get to adult, I can deal with that. As far as choices go, I choose here. I choose now.
Chrissy Boone is a Labour Doula with Full Circle Birth Collective and has supported children and families for many years in the human services field. To learn more about Chrissy, click here.
When I tell people I’m working towards being able to teach Sacred Pregnancy retreats, I’m usually met with the look – the one full of skepticism, the one that says “Oh… you’re one of "those" doulas, with their hippy woo-woo science! Are you a Sherpa too?!”
Common misconception – I’m not a Sherpa or a three month old baby! However, I am pretty passionate about women experiencing the kind of birth day they envision, and that just might mean taking the time to connect to yourself and the little one your body is working so hard to help grow.
I know I’m guilty of this – I rarely take time to address, honor or mark the milestones in my life. Sometimes, this takes a toll on me! It can feel like all of these important events are flying by and my journey seems to be going far too quickly. Sacred Pregnancy is about slowing down, appreciating the little (and big!) changes your body is going through and honoring this transitional time in your life.
A Sacred Pregnancy retreat will teach you to take time for yourself – even if it’s 5 minutes a day. It outlines the importance of meditation and journaling to connect to yourself and your baby and create a sacred space for reflection. It will also encourage you to take a serious look at the expectations you hold surrounding pregnancy, birth and motherhood. Women will get all kinds of pregnancy and birth messages from the time they are a young girl until the step onto the pregnancy, birth and motherhood path. Are the expectations you have realistic? Are they serving you in a positive way? Some of these messages are healthy, good and empowering, but most from society at large are not. It’s important for us to look at our expectations and where they come from, or at least where do we think they came from. It’s also especially important to know that every birth story is a normal birth story. It’s your journey; it’s your life lesson.
Sacred Pregnancy is connection, is facing and forgiving your fears, is honoring the body that is growing an extension of love, is sisterhood. It’s growing your circle. It’s learning to change – because you are changing! Motherhood is a journey and pregnancy is just the beginning – so slow down when you can, you deserve to celebrate it!
Welcome to Full Circle's blog, creating content for our clients and readers with a focus on all things pregnancy, birth and beyond.