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Quick Snack for Postpartum

31/1/2023

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​Check out this amazing recipe!

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​Staying fed is hard stuff in the early days of new parenthood. For a quick snack when your up during those middle of the night feedings, or to go along with your early morning coffee is Berry Oatmeal muffins. I love using blueberries in mine, but any berry works, and mixing and matching berries is fun too! 

This recipe is easy to double and freezes well! 
1.5 cups flour
1 cup cooking oats 
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt 
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
3/4 cup sugar 
2 large eggs 
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup cold milk 
1 1/4 cup blueberries (or berries of choice) 
sanding sugar for topping (optional)

*Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 
*Line a standard 12-cup muffin tin with baking cups. 
*In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, oats, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. In a separate bowl, whisk together sugar, eggs, butter, and milk. Stir wet ingredients into dry ingredients, then stir in berries.
*Divide batter evenly between muffin cups, approx 1/4 cup to each. Sprinkle with sanding sugar, if desired. 
*Bake until tops spring back when lightly touched, about 20 minutes. 
*Cool 5 minutes, then remove to wire rack to cool completely.


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Male mental health around Birth

21/9/2022

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Trigger warning: Postpartum Depression, birth
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The first thing you might be asking is why this is something that the Full Circle Birth Collective (FCBC), any Doula, or anyone surrounding birth might be concentrating on.  Isn’t it enough that we live in a patriarchal society, and that men’s needs are primary in all things, except maybe birth?  Shouldn’t we then be looking at what the birthing partners actually need, in terms of physical, mental and emotional supports?
I’ll be the first to say that post partum depression, and the mental health struggles that birthing partners go through before, during and after birth are very significant, very important, and should be stressed.  My own experience with my former partner around the birth of our two children, and her struggles with post partum affected all of us in different ways, and we need to do more around supporting birthing partners through this very difficult time in their lives.  Most of the literature that is out there, and a lot of the personal and private stories I have heard do emphasize that we need to concentrate on how to care for birthing partners more effectively, both from their support people and the medical institution as a whole, especially as it pertains to people of colour.  That being said, something that has come out more recently, and is being looked at a little more closely, is the impact on the non-birthing partners through the birthing process, and this is the focus of the rest of this blog post.

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As men take on more of a role in parenting, we are seeing a rise in symptoms in Dad’s that resemble post-partum depression (Ross), and that this is impacting how they relate to their children, and how they are coping with the emotions (CBC News; Associated Press·).  I’d add to this from my own history, where I suffered from post-partum depression with both of my children.  With my first, after a labour of 65 hours, the insane sleep deprivation, concern for my wife’s health and lack of support structures for myself or my family, I suffered from classic symptoms, such as the depressed mood, wild mood swings, inability to connect with my child, withdrawal from family and friends, and reduced interest and pleasure in activities I used to enjoy, to name a few.  With my second child, we enlisted the services of my mentor and head of FCBC, Sonya, who was able to help me be more present during the birth, and feel supported in the months that came afterwards, way beyond the scope of her contract.  Even then, I had the symptoms of post-partum depression, although to a lesser degree, which I attribute to my partner’s support, the seeking of professional counselling and guidance, and also to Sonya herself.   

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The struggle that I see is that in talking to other non-birthing partners, especially those identifying as male, once you get through the initial veneer of the rehearsed story of how the birth was, and how the first few months have been, you get down to a story where men don’t feel that they are getting the support that they need.  Part of it is that you are trying to take care of this child with the birthing partner, and the first few months are super difficult, there is no doubt about it.  But men struggle with connecting with others on an intimate level (Tarra Bates-Duford), so when you do get out, you are usually talking about sports
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You don’t have that same place where you can talk to someone who you know, who may have gone through exactly what you did, and say: “I felt really terrible today”, or that “my child wouldn’t go to sleep, and I was so exhausted, and I felt like just shaking that child, even though I didn’t”.  
So the question is what do we do now that we know that this might be a thing.  The first thing to do if you see a Dad who is struggling, is to support that person and try to get them some help.  That can look like suggesting that they talk to someone, whether that be a clinical counsellor, a therapist, or a registered psychologist.  If they don’t want the help, whether it be a stigma thing, or not, you can get them to talk to someone they know, or maybe someone they don’t (such as myself), who can then act as a bridge to get them help from a more qualified professional.  
​

Aly Sumar is a Daddy-Doula in Training in Edmonton, Alberta, supporting men and non-birthing partners in the key life moments such as birth, with clients stretching all over Canada. 

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Placenta: Treasure or Litter?

14/8/2022

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A baby is never born alone. With it, comes the placenta - a second birth which occurs right after the baby’s, and unfortunately a very neglected and important part of the birth story. We can only say that labour has officially ended when the placenta is born - not the baby itself. The placenta is vital to creating and sustaining human life, it is the interface between mother and child, and in many cultures it is considered sacred. Every single person on Earth has lived with one for 9 months, so how come we know so little of it?

Among the placenta’s many incredible and unique functions are:
  • Providing nutrients and oxygen to the baby through the umbilical cord;
  • Filtering out waste and carbon dioxide from the baby’s blood;
  • Performing both the above mentioned functions without ever mixing your bloodstream with your baby’s;
  • Acting as the baby’s lungs, kidneys and liver until birth;
  • Producing several important hormones like oxytocin, lactogen, estrogen and progesterone;
  • Passing antibodies to jumpstart your baby’s immunity;
  • Protecting the baby by filtering bacteria and other potentially harmful substances.

It is also the only temporary organ developed in adulthood, and the only one that does not share the host’s DNA, but rather shares the same DNA as the baby. This would make the placenta the child’s “twin”, so to speak, and maybe that is one of the reasons why it has been used in rituals and consecrated in different cultures across the globe. Some believe it to be an angel that protects the baby, or that it represents the child’s roots so it should be buried or planted with a tree, while others use it as an amulet or as a medicinal compound. There are countless traditions surrounding the placenta across millennia, and until very recently, with the advance of modern medicine, it was still very respected and revered after the child was born. Nowadays, it is usually thrown away, discarded as hospital waste.

We do know that even after birth, the placenta is still rich in vitamins, minerals, hormones and stem cells. One of the safest ways the placenta can be of use is by preserving placental tissue through a stem cell bank, since these stem cells can treat diseases and conditions throughout the child’s life. Still, you only need a small portion of blood and tissue to store in a stem cell bank, and that means the rest of it would be thrown away - unless you decide to do something different.

As you may have heard, placenta consumption (in capsules or in smoothies, for example) has become increasingly popular. It may seem like an otherworldly act to ingest your own placenta, but it is actually nearly omnipresent among mammals, both carnivores and herbivores. Out of all the over 4000 species of terrestrial mammals, only those of the camel family do not ingest their placentas after giving birth. Although there is little scientific evidence regarding the benefits of consuming your own placenta, those who have tried it usually testify that they feel more energy, less stress, have an easier time breast/chest-feeding, present more immunity, and fewer occurrences of baby blues and even postpartum depression.
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Julia and her son, Nico, honoring and burying their placenta.
​If it feels like too much, that’s ok - I’m not saying it’s for everyone, and there are definitely situations where ingesting your placenta could be harmful to you and your baby. There are other ways you can honor the placenta:
  • Planting it with a tree or medicinal herb;
  • ​Making a print of it and turning it into an artwork;
  • ​Using bits of the dry placenta to make jewelry, preserving it in resin.

Any contact you can have with your placenta is already therapeutic, even if you can’t take it home due to medical reasons. Look at it, touch it if you want, thank it for protecting and serving you and your baby. This can make such a huge difference in your postpartum, helping you get a sense of closure and healing from any trauma along your journey. 

Full Circle offers consultations in placenta services and can help you in figuring out the best way for you to benefit from its properties. Contact us to find out more.

References:
Placenta Medicine Manual - Daniela Paz Salinas, 2017
Influencia de la Reincorporación Oral de la Placenta (ROP) Autóloga Tras el Parto en la Evolución Bioquímica Sanguínea y Láctea - Sergio L Sanchez Suarez, 2015
Placenta, the Forgotten Chakra - Robin Lim, 2014
Placenta: The Gift of Life - Cornelia Enning, 2007
Estudio Bromatológico de la Placenta Humana - Sergio Sánchez Suarez, 2003
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Dairy Free Chest/ Breastfeeding

5/7/2022

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When my first born child was around four months old, her poop began to change. I think Google searching what your baby’s poop looks like is something every parent does at some point, but when her strange diapers didn’t clear up after a few weeks, and then we began to find blood in her diapers, we knew something wasn’t quite right. 

We took our daughter to our family doctor, who diagnosed her with a Cow’s Milk Protein Allergy (CMPA). CMPA is a fairly uncommon condition, occurring in only around 2-3% of babies. The baby’s body reacts negatively to the proteins found in cow’s milk (and products containing cow’s milk). However, much to our surprise, this condition didn’t just affect our baby. Our daughter couldn’t consume any product containing cow’s milk proteins, but at four months old, she wasn’t  consuming anything other than chestmilk, so where was she being exposed to her allergen? This is how we learned that cow’s milk protein can actually transfer through chestmilk. This meant that not only would she be unable to consume anything containing dairy, it meant that if I wanted to continue to feed her my milk, I couldn’t consume it either.

Switching to a dairy-free diet was incredibly overwhelming at first. Once you start looking for milk products on the ingredients  of your favorite snacks, you realize very quickly that it’s in pretty much everything, and it goes by many different names. 
Some ingredients are obvious; milk, butter, cheese, yogurt, cream (heavy cream, sour cream), ice cream… but others are less easy to recognize, such as whey, lactose, or casein. 
With my husband’s help, we screened ingredients and switched over products I used frequently with dairy-free alternatives. As the years have gone by, dairy-free foods and alternatives have become increasingly more common, making it much easier to eat dairy-free than before.

Eating out can be quite difficult, and often I would choose vegan restaurants or restaurants with vegan options to make things easier. When I couldn’t choose vegan, I would always be sure to search up the ‘Allergy Menu’ of the restaurant we would be eating at, so that I could pre-plan what I would be able to eat, and save myself the time spend searching for an allergy-friendly meal while sitting in the restaurant.
Luckily, many infants with CMPA grow out of their allergies, and this was the case for my daughter. We successfully reintroduced dairy into my, and then her diet, when she was 11 months old. Since then, my toddler son (who did not have CMPA as a baby) has been diagnosed with a milk allergy, and I find myself thankful that because of my experiences with my daughter, I have the knowledge I need to help him and our family avoid his allergen.

Common Symptoms of CMPA:
  • Frequent reflux
  • Vomiting or diarrhea
  • Constipation
  • Blood in stool 
  • Eczema 
  • Swelling
  • Chronic cough or wheezing
  • Runny or stuffy nose
  • Colic

Not all babies will have every symptom of a CMPA. My own daughter only had gastrointestinal symptoms. 

My favourite dairy-free alternatives 
Milk             Not Milk   
Butter            Earth Balance, Becel Margarine (Vegan)
Yogurt            Riviera Coconut, Silk Soy Yogurt
Ice Cream        SoDelicious, Sno Dairy-Free
Creamer        Silk Vanilla Creamer, Milk’s Own Barista Oat
Cheese         Daiya, VioLife
Sour Cream        Daiya
Cream Cheese    Tofutti Cream Cheese
Whipping Cream    Silk Heavy Cream, SoDelicious CocoWhip
Chocolate        EnjoyLife
Cheese Sauce        Daiya
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Snacks        EnjoyLife, MadeGood
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Local Restaurants​: You can make your life easier when eating out by choosing vegan restaurants or restaurants that offer vegan options. Here are some of my favorites: 

Doughnut Party
Cinnaholic Bakery
Bliss Baked Goods 
Bloom Cookie Co.
Kind Ice Cream
Made by Marcus 
Copper Branch 
Mini Mango
Loma House
Panago Pizza
Sweet Pea Cafe (this cafe has a cute play area for kids too!) 
Moth Cafe
Cafe Mosaics 
KB&Co
Padmanadi

Love to hear your favourites, comment below. 
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Rebecca’s Unmedicated Home Birth

29/6/2022

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“It’s a strange feeling having guilt around sharing a positive birth story as I know birth is so unpredictable and doesn’t always go to plan. People are quick to tell you their negative birth experiences when you are pregnant and it is usually followed by some iteration of “oh you just wait, you will see what I’m talking about”. We need more positive stories around birth out there so that is why I am sharing my positives unmedicated home birth story.  

I have always wanted kids and when I found out I was pregnant I was so grateful and excited. I did A LOT of research and preparation for birth. I knew, in the ideal situation, I would give birth at home, in water, and with no medical interventions. In preparation for birth, I read a lot of books, some of my favorites being “Babies are not Pizzas. They are Born not Delivered”, “Sweet Sleep” and “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth”. We also took classes with Sonya our doula and also a hypnobabies prenatal class with Ricky Issler, which I think significantly contributed to how I was able to cope during birth. 

My water broke at 9pm on June 9, which also happens to be my birthday. My husband and I were out with friends but I quickly excused ourselves cause I thought something was up. On the car ride home I knew for sure my water had broke, as I was now sitting in a large puddle in my freshly detailed car lol. When we got home I texted my midwife and doula to let them know my water broke but no contractions had started and both of them said to take some gravol and get some rest! By 10pm I had taken my gravol and was laying down to rest listening to my hypnobabies sound track, while my husband was frantically getting the rug moved in the living room, blowing up the pool, and getting some things crossed off the todo list (baby was 7 days early). 

Laying down to rest didn’t last long as I quickly became very uncomfortable in any laying position. It started out with cramping and I quickly knew I was having real contractions. I kept trying to lay back down cause I thought I was in for the long haul and knew I needed rest, but now the only place I could get comfortable was on the toilet. Around 12:30am we checked in with our doula and I was still talking through contractions, I was nauseous so I was throwing up every once and a while but my contractions were only about 20 - 30 secs long and we agreed to check back soon. 

I continued to labour on the toilet for a while as any other position didn’t feel good. Around 2am my husband brought up the birthing ball to give that a try and that was a great relief. I was now concentrating very hard, still listening to my hypnobabies relaxation music and making a deep humming sound which helped me focus. 

As we neared 3am things were intensifying and I was getting the chills which I knew could mean I was going into the transition stage of labor. We decided we should time the contractions, they were 45 secs long and coming quickly. The doula and midwife were called and both were on route. My husband moved me downstairs to continue to labour on the birthing ball. I also had the tens machine on now which was a nice distraction. 

Once the doula and midwife arrived and were set up, we started to fill the pool. At around 4:30am my midwife asked if I wanted to be checked to see how far along we were and I agreed. Much to all of our amazement, I was already 9cm and started to have the pushy feelings. The pool couldn’t fill up fast enough at this point lol! 

By 5am I was in the pool and activity pushing. The water was such a nice relief. After about 1.5 hours of pushing in the pool we were making progress but not as much as we would have liked to see. We moved to land ie. the couch around 6:50am and within 20 mins we had a beautiful baby boy in our arms! 

My birth was very fast for a first time birth. Baby was with us just 10 hours after my water broke. I am so grateful I had such a positive birth experience and that I was able to stick to my plan, but I was also willing to change the plan if it needed to be changed. Healthy baby and healthy mom is the most important thing at the end of the day. 

The best part: having such a supportive birthing team and husband. Their words of encouragement really help get you through. And of course, having a healthy baby come into the world.

The worst part: the ring of fire lol (when the babies head is crowning and about to be born). This is the only moment I would describe as painful, it only lasted a few moments as I waited for the next contraction to come and birthed the babies head. Oh and when they push on your stomach after birth, that was not cool lol.

Most helpful coping strategies:

  1. Making sounds. Most of the sounds I was making sounded like a deep hum/moo. The sounds just came out, they were instinctually the sounds my body wanted to make.
  2. Music to concentrate on. I used a combination of my hypnobabies sound tracks and relaxation music. I was very focused pretty much the whole time during birth, I spoke very little, you kind of go inside yourself and having music to focus on really helped my concentration. 
  3. Water, birth ball and tens machine. These tools were all very helpful for pain management and switching between them was a nice change of pace.
  4. Do not fear birth. I knew at the end of the day no matter what happened my body was made to give birth to this baby. 

I hope this story encourages anyone considering an unmedicated birth whether at home or in the hospital!

-Rebecca”
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The Central Nervous System during Birth

14/6/2022

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Anyone who has given birth before can agree that it is one of the most transformational journeys of a person’s life. The intensity of contractions, the roller coaster of emotions, finding strength you never knew you had… it’s all so incredible and life-changing! However, those reading this who have experienced trauma during their births would not necessarily agree with the incredible part - more like incredibly terrifying. Something that many people don’t realize is that whether you had an empowering birth or a traumatic one (or a combo of each), this is the product of an intelligence within our bodies called the Central Nervous System. This system is highly influenced by our birth setting and responds in an attempt to keep us safe. Our CNS is an extremely important facet of birth, and so I thought it is definitely worth explaining to anyone who is about to give birth.

CNS 101

Our Central Nervous System is a complex system that regulates various hormones in our body to respond to stimuli from our environment. Everything we experience or perceive in the outside world will stimulate us (by physically affecting our nerve endings or by creating emotional responses in our brains), and these stimuli can either be painful or pleasurable. Once our brains receive stimuli, it is the job of the CNS to imprint these experiences into our cellular memory so that if the same scenario were to happen again, our system can prepare to either run away or fight the threat or invite more of the experience in to receive more pleasure. We have two sides to our CNS that handle painful and pleasurable experiences - Sympathetic (fight, flight, freeze or fawn) and Parasympathetic (rest, digest and reproduce). When our Sympathetic Nervous System has been engaged, it’s like the gas pedal of a car - it causes a release of stress hormones like cortisol, epinephrine and norepinephrine which will send blood to the parts of our body that will mobilize us to “fight” or “flee” the threat we are faced with. People in an engaged Sympathetic response will notice an increased heart rate, rapid breathing, body shakes, and a general sense of urgency. On the other side of things when our Parasympathetic Nervous System is engaged we can think of this as the brakes of a car - it causes a release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin, endorphins and serotonin which will make us feel good as well as tell our brain that we are safe which will engage recovery processes in our body like our immune system and reproductive function. The two sides of our CNS work in opposition, meaning we can’t be in fight-or-flight and rest-and-digest at the same time.

But what does that have to do with birth?

As you probably read here, reproduction is a function of the Parasympathetic nervous system. What this means is that in order to both reproduce and give birth, our body and brain needs to feel like it is safe to do so. This is a primitive function that all of us mammals have - it ensures that we don’t give birth when we are being attacked (think back to our caveman days, how on Earth could we keep the species alive if we birthed our babies while fleeing a wolf attack?). Now the difference between us and other mammals is our advanced prefrontal cortexes. This part of our brains is where we get our logic and much of our “book smart” intelligence from… but this high intelligence comes with a consequence, and that consequence is that we perceive a larger variety of threatening situations. Yes, our CNS would shut down labour and birth if we were being chased by a bear, but it also does the same when we are being yelled at, coerced, ridiculed, or talked down to as most of us have a very mammalian reaction to any of these behaviours. Our bodies tell us that these behaviours are threatening and it will start to mobilize us to flee the situation or fight against it. And if you don’t know, now you know… these behaviours are quite common within hospitals and with certain care providers. So let’s take for an example something as simple as someone rushing you through your birth. Perhaps you’re in the hospital and the doctor caring for you has told you that if you don’t have your baby in 4 more hours they are going to suggest a C-section. You really don’t want a C-section because open abdominal surgery is scary and recovery time is extended. So your CNS will take in that information and based on your perceptions of C-sections and being on a time crunch, your body decides it’s no longer safe to birth and starts to release stress hormones. With the presence of stress hormones, your oxytocin (the contraction-causing hormone) cannot flow freely anymore and you stop having contractions (or they slow down significantly). 4 hours later progress has stalled and you end up in the OR. All it took was one sentence from the doctor to shut down the process! 
All it took was one sentence from the doctor to shut down the process! ​

How do I protect my CNS

Now that we know what we know, how do we avoid going into fight-or-flight during our births? Unfortunately we cannot guarantee that this function will not be engaged at all in your labour. Sometimes threats happen regardless of how much we prepare. That being said, there are small steps you can take to increase the likelihood of you feeling safe during your birth:
  • Control the environment - where you give birth matters in that you need to feel safe. Some people feel very safe in hospitals and others don’t. If you choose home birth, be sure to set up your space with systems that will increase comfort and safety (birth somewhere that has a clear exit path, away from windows or close your blinds, with the ability to play music, etc.). If you choose a hospital birth, bring along items to increase the sense of safety in your hospital room (visual affirmations, a softer lighting choice, ear plugs or headphones to shut out excess noise, etc).
  • Choose your team wisely - you may not be able to choose the doctor who assists you during your birth or the nurses, but you can hire a professional birth advocate (doula) to help filter out any harmful language or persuasion that may come up during the birth. If a doula is inaccessible for you, enlist a family member or close friend with the task of advocating for you and your partner during the birth.
  • Practice meditation and mindfulness - while you are still pregnant, make meditation a daily practice. It doesn’t need to be long - 5 mins a day will suffice. Just enough time to practice shifting your focus away from external distraction and back into your body. Practice breathing techniques, specifically those that involve nostril breathing (evidence suggests that breathing in and out of your nose is associated with parasympathetic function!). Visualize yourself and your baby in a protective bubble of warm light, safe from any threats that may be placed in your path.
  • Find a therapist - and when I say therapist, I mean both talk therapists as well as bodywork therapists! Talk therapy can help address any previous trauma or mental blocks that are causing anxiety before your big day. Bodywork like physio, massage, chiro, acupuncture, etc can actually help you release trauma that has moved to and is being stored in your muscles and soft tissues. 
Despite where, when or with whom you will give birth, remember that you are a highly intelligent being and your body is working to keep you and your baby safe. Be kind to yourself and never forget your capability of overcoming extremely hard situations!
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Preparing siblings for the new baby

12/4/2022

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Finding out your family is expecting a new little sibling can be full of exciting feelings. Being prepared, as well as preparing the big siblings can help ease the process. No matter if the sibling is young or older, there are many tips, tricks and supports to prepare them for this exciting milestone.

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Big Feelings

Big siblings can get very excited for a new little sibling announcement. The promise of playing together, and having a built-in forever friend. Rarely do children understand that for the first few months or more, babies won’t do much more than sleep, cry, poop and monopolize their parents’ time. This can often lead to unwanted “behaviours.” Behaviours are often expressions of needing support from their adult. For the adults though this can be difficult with a new baby. This is quite evident in children under 6 years where their general understanding of time and sharing are still work in progress. While we are also trying to adjust to losing sleep, a cocktail of hormones and a new family dynamic, often they are facing big emotions. Some of these emotions may include:

Jealousy

For the first six weeks (give or take) the birthing parent will spend a lot of that time recovering from delivery, as well as bonding with baby. This can induce feelings of jealousy which can show up in many ways. In very small children it could look like crying and temper tantrums, in children 6 years and above it could show up as being very emotional, not wanting to share, and being disconnected. To be proactive, start small. Ask your partner or a friend to come spend time with the baby, supporting and attending to their needs while you engage in on the floor activities with them. Colouring building Lego, snuggling for a movie and popcorn and other favorites. Once you are feeling healed remember to make special dates and activities just for the big sibling(s)and each parent. 
When the big sibling shows the emotion of jealousy, acknowledge and validate them. It is hard having someone be your everything (mom/dad/etc) and then one day they’re expected to split their time minimally 50/50 with no consent. That’s a huge change. If the child is older, it is okay to have healthy conversations about jealousy, turn taking and what just can’t be changed. “It’s hard to share, hey?” 

Scared

Depending on their age, seeing a parent divide their time can be scary. What if they love the new baby more? What if they miss their cue for a snuggle or joke, because they’re preoccupied with the baby? What if their parents STOP LOVING THEM!? And if your child is still under 3, they may literally not be able to have the cognitive functions to understand the baby is not in their way.
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Listening to his baby sisters heartbeat.
​ That a parent’s heart grows for more children, not divides. If your kiddo is bigger, it’s okay just to talk to them and acknowledge these feelings. It seems scary when mom doesn’t help right away, hey? If they’re old enough it is okay to involve them in the problem-solving strategy of sharing time and validating feelings. Be careful not to shame them for their feelings. Shaming may sound like “you don’t need to worry” or telling them not to worry. They’re still working through this big concept. If they are still pretty young, it is okay to be fair and firm. Saying things like “I know its scary when mommy has to go into the bedroom to change their diaper, but I can’t hold you now. I need to finish changing them, and then we can snuggle.” 

Angry

Mom, dad, baby… whoever is involved, they are all enraging. They don’t let you do anything you want; you seem to always be in the way, and you’re not even fully sure you know what is going on. Being a new big sibling can be tough. This may show up as violence, such as biting or hitting or temper tantrums and stealing. Again, these feelings tend to work closely with jealousy. It is okay to show compassion by having strong, healthy boundaries. “I won’t let you bite me. I won’t let you hurt the baby.” Follow up quickly with what they can do. “I can’t let you hit me, when I’m done, I will sit on the floor with you.” I’m scared you will seriously hurt the baby and I can’t let you.”
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Big brother with Midwife Heidi, listening to baby.

Excitement

Excitement can often be confused with being silly or even rude. It’s loud, it’s distractible, and often it includes wanting to touch the baby constantly. This can be very overwhelming, for baby, sibling and you. Having healthy bonding and relationship building can help big siblings understand what is unacceptable and what is safe. You cannot touch baby’s face, look how sweet their fingers are, you can hold their hand. I see you trying to get close to the baby, let's put them in their seats and get close together.

Get them involved

There are so many amazing ways to include big siblings with a new baby. Preparing them before the baby comes can be really beneficial. This might include watching age-appropriate shows or reading age-appropriate books, and then connecting how they are like the characters with their new baby. “See how the brother… when the baby gets here that’s what you can do!” I also liked to change the characters names in the story to my child’s name. 
Before my daughter was born, I would sit with my young son and watch tv shows that showed off characters getting new siblings. One example is Daniel Tiger “The Tiger Family Grows/Daniel Learns About Being a Big Brother.” It helped me use situations that happened in the Tiger Family which may come up for us. They also have great songs which we could sing together. Once the baby was here, I would remind him, “remember when… can you do that?” 
If your child is older, it is great to just talk to them and ask where they want to be involved. If they decline helping in certain ways, respect their wishes and honour their own boundaries. These should never compromise safety, but if you ask them to grab something and they say no, acknowledge they declined and let it go. If it is not a choice, do not present it as such. It is okay to describe the expectation, and then thank them when they’re done instead. This might end up sounding like “I need you to pick up your Lego so the baby won’t choke” and then once they’re done thanking them for their quick action and support.

Get them excited

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She is here. Meeting little sister. 
Lastly, set up Yes spaces. Before the baby comes, look through the home for spaces or situations which may always end in disagreements. If you can offer adaptations or change the environment to allow success, you’ll find fewer struggling behaviours. This may include making their bedroom a space where they can be independent and alone. In the event they are not happy being engaged with the baby they can go there for distance. I knew before the baby came, I would like to be breastfeeding, and that would take a lot of time. Therefore, I set up spaces where my son could be independent with his choices, and I wouldn’t be disappointed in the mess he made. In his bedroom we put a basic table, and some new Duplo he could engage with, as well as new touchy-feely books. In my bedroom where I tried to be for the first 6 weeks, I had special technology like books, new movies saved on the TV with snacks for him stored, and quiet activities for if the baby slept and I wanted to snuggle him. I also know a family who added an Ikea table so the child could play adult directed activities like sand, but the parent could sit back and observe. 
In the hallways I had fun stickers, art supplies and sensory activities I only brought out when the baby was down so either I could sit with him and play, or he could engage at the kitchen table and I would clean or prep food. The key was that these only came out when I needed direction and engagement. If the toys are consistently out, they can become boring and abused. When my little sister was born, I was four years old. I don’t remember much, but I have a happy feeling when I can remember that my parents gave me a My Little Pony, a gift from my newborn sister. My younger brother got a construction truck from her. So, when my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our second, we decided to include this tradition for our own son. At Christmas, our “baby” bought a doll for my son to care for until she was born. When she was born, we had a gift bag from our baby to him with lots of quiet individual activities he could do while mom was busy with her. A Water Paint pad from Melissa and Doug, new crayons and a blank paper pad, a doodle pad, a set of puzzles I knew he could do alone, and a stuffed cat which matched a smaller stuffed cat.
There are lots of ways to help big siblings get excited, such as including them in the design and decorating of the nursery, choosing books to share in the baby’s room, inviting them to the birth and giving them opportunities to be involved in the pregnancy. My midwife let my son listen to the baby's heartbeat and use the tools during the check up. However you choose to include the big siblings, this is a glorious event for everyone that you can look back on fondly with memories and milestones.
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Birth Artwork

16/3/2022

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Sukma Rengganis Samara Yusuf.
The 3rd of March, in the year 2022,
0507 hours,
Just before sunrise

A blessing, A gift. The rainbow after a series of storms.
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The strength of your mother,The love of your father,
The steady beating of your resilient little body
This is your Tree of Life. The image of your placenta
The companion that was specifically created by the womb that carried you safe and sound through many trials,
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Even before you arrived. Earth side It is so good 
To have you Here.You are eagerly anticipated.
You’ve probably seen the usual – statues of mothers and goddesses, ripe and round, smooth surfaces, pristine images of a demure woman embracing a newborn infant who is gently suckling at her breast… something like that. The focus is usually on the birthing person and the child,  fruit of their labour (literally). But I would like to talk about the other passenger of the womb, the star of the last stage of the birth process: the placenta. This incredible organ is created specifically for the baby in the womb and is composed of the DNA from both the mother and father.
The placenta is not usually one of the celebrated parts of pregnancy and childbirth, nor does it elicit the same excited questions that usually get asked of the baby:
 “Omigosh, so perfect!”
 “How much did it weigh?? Wow, that’s a good size!”  “How long did you have to push for?!”. ​
Yet, each placenta is perfectly crafted for the baby, as if the baby has a built-in guardian angel co-pilot, setting to work as soon as possible, holding space and perfectly facilitating a respectful exchange between mother and child.
The mother’s blood and the baby’s blood never mix together in the placenta. Did you know that??? They have their own separate arteries and paths in the placenta, yet still manage to exchange the things that count: oxygen, waste, nutrients, antibodies… it does all of these jobs immediately, letting the baby develop their own systems in their own due time. 
Y’know, the placenta kind of acts like a good postpartum doula would for their client: Providing a nurturing space for this new life to figure itself out; bringing in the good things needed for sustainable growth, while helping to move the waste. It is for such a short amount of time, with so much to do - and yet, it’s role has been perfectly fulfilled when the baby is born, so it gracefully bows out, often with minimal fanfare. In a vaginal birth, typically the placenta is acknowledged with a bit of resentment, and a grimace at it’s delivery and raw appearance.
The placenta print, then, is a bit of a magic trick. If you ever have the opportunity to take a “tour” of the placenta organ, usually offered by the doctor or midwife that attended the birth, try to do so! The true awe-inspiring power behind the placenta is revealed when the main arteries of the fetal side (the smooth side of the placenta which faces the baby) and the umbilical cord are highlighted with paint, arranged artfully on a flat surface, and a large piece of watercolour paper is pressed against it to reveal what looks remarkably like a tree in full foliage.
The placenta has also been called the Tree of Life.
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This particular print is from the birth story of one of the toughest mothers I’ve ever met. Faced with past birth experiences of difficult pregnancies, families across great distances, unplanned interventions, serious health complications, hospitalizations, etcetera… holding her hand in my left and my Starbucks Birthday Drink in the other, as we both pray for strength and how could we possibly know that, less than a year later, another child would be carried to term safely and joyfully? They welcomed Sukma Rengganis earlier this month, with myself, their doula, cracking jokes with the nurse and cheering them on. The little girl’s names are also  chosen with so much intention: essentially, “a soul / spirit, for whom we wish that life is sweetened”.
*placenta artwork is on 11”x15” watercolour paper; medium is acrylic paint and ink; sealed with Dorland’s Wax Medium. Each print is a customized, commissioned add-on product that Mira offers to her birth clients; please contact her directly to inquire more!

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Postpartum Planning? What is it and where do you start?

19/1/2022

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These questions I get regularly asked as a postpartum doula supporting families.
Navigating the first days, weeks and months after a new family member joins the household can be blurry, overwhelming and feel like the longest but shortest days of your life all at the same time.

​Thinking about planning for your postpartum can feel unnecessary or maybe a bit daunting. However, it can also feel exciting and empowering to many families.
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So what is it? 

Postpartum planning is the active role you take in thinking about what you will need in the immediate days and weeks following the birth or adoption of a baby. 
It can take on all sorts of narratives depending on your circumstances. Some families opt to use planning to set up meal trains,  have errand runners, pet sitters, household cleaners and deliveries organized. Others use it more to help navigate the emotional / relationship changes that will possibly occur. 

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Understanding the intricacies of yourself, your partner and your other relationships can greatly help get through what is often a dramatic shift to what you knew life to be. 
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How well do you do on limited sleep?
Do you like having a clean tidy space with everything in its right place?
Do you get extra ‘hangry’ when you don't eat regularly? 
Do you need one on one time with your partner to feel connected? Or maybe you need downtime not being around anyone to feel centered. 
​No matter how you thrive before you have a baby, it’s common those needs will be difficult to meet once you have a little one next to you all the time. This is where postpartum planning can really help. It is  essentially an outline to your life, your needs and what makes you tick. How can you have all the tools and resources ready to go, so IF you need to access them, planning makes this only a fingertip away. ​When I talk to families about what their expectations are for after the birth of a child, I commonly find most soon to be parents either have lots or none at all. Circumstance, extended family dynamics, previous experience with babies and children can all impact our thoughts as we move into parenthood. Sometimes we see confidence from the moment we find out we’re expecting, other times it can be terrifying and anxiety inducing. No matter where you are in the journey a guided postpartum planning session will help meet you where you are. 
They can give you referrals to modalities that you may not need immediately, but have listed on hand should you have to use them. Lactation consultants, massage therapy, chiropractor, babywearing resources, food delivery services are just a few of the resources we have available to share. 
Another common discussion when planning for your postpartum is recognizing the impact of mental health to both partners. Statistics show an increase in postpartum mood disorders when support systems are minimal. While mood disorders can affect anyone, they are common to occur in parents who have had previous mental health concerns or who experience any form of trauma during the pregnancy or birthing process. Understanding what to watch for and knowing where to go should there be any mental health concerns can be life saving. This is an integral part of planning, and goes back to understanding who you are as a person before you come to parenthood. 
​So where do you start? 
There are numerous templates available on the internet that can outline basic postpartum planning questions and ideas. 
Thinking about what you need and want by looking at those can be a great place to start. Having a session with a postpartum doula or support worker can also be a great tool to ensure you cover all your bases. The benefit of using someone who specializes in this work can bring attention to things that you may not have previously thought of, or been aware of. Another great asset to using a professional to help navigate a unique to you template, is the great community connections that they have. 
Postpartum takes a lot of slowing down, patience and kindness to ourselves and the immediate people who surround us. One of the best things I see when people think and consider the postpartum is the confidence and excitement that parents gain. Preparing yourself with tools, knowledge and resources not only sets you up for a more successful start to your parenting journey, but also can make healing and adjusting go more smoothly. 
Nobody starts parenting as an expert. If we go into this vulnerable stage of life understanding that we are at the beginning of a new journey, we can set ourselves up on a successful path. One that is rich with information, community support and confidence. 

Have questions? Reach out to the local birth workers in your community.
Full Circle Postpartum Care is available to work with you to have individualized postpartum plans that work for you and your family dynamic. Book a postpartum session today and get started on planning for success. 
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Advocating for your support team

1/10/2021

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Effective October 4, 2021, Alberta Health Services will be returning to the policy that most maternity settings across the province will be required to decrease support persons to only one support person per maternity patient. Exceptional circumstances and requests by patients for two (2) designated support persons will be considered by the site command posts on a case-by-case basis. One (1) additional support person will be considered in cases of adoption or surrogacy. If physical distancing permits. (Source: AHS Website). 
 
As Doulas, we understand the strain that the COVID-19 pandemic has had on our health system, and the reasoning behind policies to reduce the number of bodies present on the unit to lower the chance of exposure. However, this policy also restricts patient access to an evidence-based tool. As Dr. Kennel and Dr. Klaus said, “If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it”. 
 
Continuous Doula support throughout labor, birth, and the postpartum period have been shown to improve positive outcomes for the birthing family’s experience and increase parental satisfaction. Our clients have planned to experience their birth while supported by both their partner or family, AND their Doula. 
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photo: Hayley Yourk
​Doulas reduce the risk of cesarean section, the use of pain medications, and increase the likelihood of a spontaneous vaginal birth, all of which can lead to a shorter hospital stay. This in turn helps reduce strain on our medical system.
 
Doulas can also provide another set of hands to assist with non-medical practices, when nursing staff is already taxed and overwhelmed.  Doulas want to be present at their clients’ births, not only to support their client but also to help support our frontline healthcare workers.
 

Many of our clients have been reaching out to us; asking what they can do.

​There are many things that our clients and families can do to make their concerns known.

  1. Discuss your concerns with your health care provider and your wishes for your Doula to be present. Request permission to be granted on your medical file. There is evidence that Doulas do make a significant impact on birth outcomes (https://evidencebasedbirth.com/the-evidence-for-doulas/) and that Doulas are an essential part of the maternity care team. 
  2. Ask your care provider if they would consider taking your concern to the Site Command post, who may consider your request on a case-by-case basis.
  3. Consider starting a case file with the Patient Relations Department of Alberta Health Services for an exemption to the one support person during birth policy.   
  4. Contact Alberta Health Services Patient relations at 1-855-550-2555 to make a documented request and/ or express your thoughts and concerns. 
  5. Go to the website for Alberta Health Services, under Patient Concerns and Feedback and submit feedback online. Be providing feedback it may help them continuously improve the quality of the healthcare system and they are more likely to respond.    
We have hope that these steps can help improve that chances that Doulas won’t be left on the other side of the labor door and inaccessible to our clients during this most important time. We will do everything we can to support you and we want to be there to support you in your birthing journey. We do also have to recognize that the final decision is not in our control, and we have to trust that the people making those decisions are doing so with everyone’s health in mind. We will work with you to setup a backup plan, to ensure that we support you in the ways that we are able to, whether it be over FaceTime, video chat, phone or otherwise.
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