Full Circle Birth Collective
  • Home
  • Meet the team
    • Our Labour Doula Team
    • Our Postpartum Doula Team
  • Classes & Services
    • Parent Drop in groups
    • Coaching Support for Parents
    • Yoga for Pregnancy & Postpartum
    • Classes for Partners
    • Celebrations >
      • First Moon Celebration
      • Birth Blessing
      • Postpartum >
        • Pregnancy Circle
    • Virtual Online Support
    • Placenta Support >
      • Placenta Information
    • Local Resources
  • Infant CPR
  • Become a Doula
    • Labour Doula Training
    • Postpartum Doula Training
    • Continuing Education for Doulas
    • Scholarships
  • Private Prenatal Packages
  • Blog
  • Contact us
  • Full Circle Shop

Living with baby

1/8/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture

​My husband and I are six weeks in to our lifetime journey of having a child. While preparing for our daughter’s arrival, we purchased a number of sleep options. We had heard from many of our parent friends and family members that their child would refuse to sleep in their crib, or bassinet, and knowing how important sleep is, we decided to be prepared, and have a number of accessible options. One of the items we decided to try was the DockATot Deluxe.
Picture

How I used it 

Living in an older house and with the increasingly warm summer heat. My husband and I found ourselves no longer able to sleep in our upstairs bedroom. Our in-room thermometer showed temperatures to be averaging between 27-29 degrees during the evenings, and as new parents we were constantly anxious about the possibility of overheating. Luckily for us we had access to a basement bedroom. However, due to the size of that bedroom, we were unable to bring our bassinet into the room with us. This left us with little options-either leave our daughter in her crib in the room beside us, alone, something we were not comfortable with, or have our daughter in our bed.

What is a DockAToT?

For those who are unfamiliar, the DockATot is a “multi-functional lounging, playing, chilling, resting and snuggling dock you can take anywhere.” Created in Sweden there is “simply nothing else like it on the market that allows mothers to feed, soothe and bond with baby.” The DockATot comes in two different sizes. The DockATot Deluxe (for ages 0-9 months) and the DockATot Grand (for ages 9-36 months.)

​The DockATot website claims the device is perfect for numerous activities, such as lounging, tummy time, bonding, bed transitioning, playing, cuddling, resting, changing, and for use around the house.

Picture
The idea of bed-sharing made us equally anxious.  
I am a person who cannot sleep without a blanket and multitude of pillows, and after a few nights of sleeping with my daughter on my chest. We decided  to, on the recommendation of a friend, transition her to sleeping in our bed, inside of the DockATot.

That being said, we were fully educated and aware of the sleep safe recommendations, and understood that technically the DockATot does not meet safe sleep recommendations as recommended by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics).

We encourage anyone who considers letting their child sleep unsupervised in the DockATot to do their research and to make their own independent decision into the best sleep situation for their family.

The Co-sleeping Controversy 

​Prior to the birth of my daughter, I was avidly against co-sleeping and bed-sharing for safety reasons. However, reality hit hard after her arrival and I discovered that my new baby would not sleep anywhere other than in my arms or bed. I was frequently breastfeeding to establish milk supply, and my sleepy newborn required mother assisted wakeups. She would scream and cry anytime she was left in her bassinet, and soon I found myself too tired to handle her care. Having her in my bed helped all of us have a better sleep, and frank discussion within my 200-member strong pregnancy turned parenting group revealed that almost everyone else was co-sleeping as well.

Portability

The DockATot is lightweight and is easy to bring with you from place to place. I often use the DockATot for supervised naps when I need to be places other than my bedroom. If I am upstairs working at my computer, my daughter and the DockATot come with me. This allows for my daughter to be nearby at all times, even during naps and makes it easy to soothe her during wake-ups.. I find the portability of the DockATot extremely convenient, and plan to bring it with me even for long trips and camping. (Check back in September for my blog post on camping with your baby, in which I will be featuring the DockATot again!)

Resting

My daughter slept better in the DockATot than anywhere else. She cannot roll over in it, and the DockATot along with a swaddle, help reduce her moro reflex and reduce nighttime wake-ups. Our first night in the DockATot, my daughter slept six hours straight. This continued until her six week growth spurt and sleep regression, in which she is still getting three hour chunks of sleep. I sleep more soundly knowing that my daughter is beside me, but not directly in my bed.

                               

​ What I Don’t Love about it


Washing


The DockATot comes with a removable cover that can be easily washed and dried when exposed to the inevitable newborn messes of breastmilk, spit up and other bodily excretions. However, the DockATot cover is extremely difficult to replace once washed. I found putting the cover back on my DockATot a two man and two hour job. Something that is even more difficult to do, when you are also trying to take care of a baby.

Changing

The DockATot makers recommend the DockATot for use as a changing station. However, at the cost and with how difficult putting a newly washed DockATot cover is. I would never use it to change my baby in. Anyone who has changed a newborn (or any baby for that matter) knows that they love to pee and poo the minute their diaper has been removed, and regardless of whether you have replaced that diaper with a new one. As well, many of the DockATot cover patterns are white, or have white designs in them. Have you ever washed newborn poop out of white fabric? I have, and let me tell you, it’s not pretty.




Side note:
Co-sleeping is not recommended by the Health Canada or by Alberta Health. Both organizations recommend a flat, firm surface, with no pillows or blankets, and not within an adult bed.
​
**Disclaimer: Be please aware that we are not promoting any specific sleep situation. I am only detailing my own personal experiences and the things that worked best for our family. 


​
For educational purposes on why some people choose co sleeping and bed sharing, our doula team recommends:
Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears
The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin
Sweet Sleep by Theresa Pitman
Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent’s Guide to Cosleeping
​
by Dr. James McKenna 

Three in a bed by Deborah Jackson

​Further educational resources  
Safe Sleep Resources from Platypus Media
Where Babies Sleep from the ISIS Infant Sleep Information Source
Guidelines to Sleeping Safe with Infants by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.
Safe Sleep 7: Is it safe to bedshare? is a free handout for parents, produced by La Leche League International
Infant Health Research: Bed Sharing, Infant Sleep and SIDS from the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative
Attachment Parenting International – Infant Sleep Safety
Babies sharing their mothers’ beds while in hospital: a sample policy from the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative
Guideline on Co-Sleeping and Breastfeeding, Clinical Protocol Number 6 from the Academy for Breastfeeding Medicine
AAP Policy Statement: SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Expansion of Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment (Oct. 17, 2011)

Picture

0 Comments

Thriving in the First Year: Expectations vs. Reality

16/2/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
When my daughter was born almost two years ago, I was completely blindsided. With how fiercely I loved her from the moment she was earthside. With how her cries touched something so deep in my soul that they physically hurt me. With how much my heart would swell with pride and joy to see my husband become a father. But along with all the wonderful, happy moments, there were some really, really difficult things that I was in no way prepared for. I now think there are many aspects of motherhood that you can’t prepare for, no matter how many books you read, online mom’s groups you’re part of, or classes you take. I also think I did myself a bit of a disservice by holding some, what I now know, were unrealistic expectations for myself and my baby. Expectations can be useful; indeed, they are a normal part of the human experience. But when we hold high expectations, whether from some internal vision or external, societal or family pressure, and those expectations are not met, we can feel like we’ve let ourselves or others down. I don’t think that’s a great way to feel any time, but especially in the postpartum period! Here are a few of the expectations I had for my baby and myself, and what ended up being our reality.

The Birth Plan
Expectation: I had a midwife and a doula, I took all the classes, listened to my Hypnobirthing tracks every evening, practiced my affirmations every morning, I bought my homebirth supplies months ahead of time; I thought I was READY for this whole birth thing. I was going to be one of those “loosey goosey” women we saw in the videos, calmly breathing through contractions. Maybe I would even sleep through them! I would breathe baby out and we would go on our merry way!

Reality: Birth is INTENSE. Birth is life-altering. Birth is hard work. The hardest work I’ve ever done in my life. Nothing could have prepared me for what it felt like, or how transformative the whole experience would be. That first contraction took my breath away, and I felt like I didn’t get it back until 18 hours later after I pushed...really, really, hard...(not breathed…) my daughter out. The good news is, all the preparation work I did helped give me a strong framework of support to reach my goal of a natural birth. When I wanted to give up, my doula was there to remind me of my birth plan. When I felt like the pain was becoming too much, I was able to lean back on my Hypnobirthing preparation and my husband to calm me.

Breastfeeding
Expectation: My perfect baby would do the perfect “breast crawl” immediately after birth, just like we saw in all those videos! All the books say that baby will eat 10-12 times a day, so that means she’ll nurse for 15 or so minutes at 8am, 10am, noon, and so on. Right? And I hadn't really thought about it in depth, but I had a vague notion that all this feeding would take place during the daytime hours only.

Reality: Nothing about babies is predictable, and nothing could have prepared me for often and for how long my baby would nurse, how beyond exhausting it would be, and how many unexpected issues we would have. Along with a lip and tongue tie and latching difficulties, we dealt with mastitis, thrush, clogged ducts, and a nipple shield. And that doesn’t even include the typical aspects of nursing based on baby’s cues. Cluster feeding for hours at a time, baby wanting to nurse 10 minutes after she’d just finished a marathon nursing session, growth spurts where I was convinced I did not have enough for her, and not being able to leave for longer than an hour at a time because she wouldn’t take a bottle were all things I experienced in the first few weeks and months. I now know those are all very normal breastfed baby behaviors, but not having many close examples of this, I was convinced something was wrong. Luckily, I again had access to great support and was able to make it through all of those challenges and continue to nurse my daughter today. I think if I had had more realistic expectations, or had known what a typical breastfeeding relationship looked like, I would have been much more accepting early on and would have relaxed into the whole process more.

Sleep:
Expectation: Babies fall asleep when they’re tired. Babies take a few regular, predictable, long naps every day because babies *like* to sleep, and I’ll be able to get so much done when the baby is asleep. Babies sleep at night. I will nurse her to sleep, lay her down, and again, go on my merry way!

Reality: Parents, go ahead and laugh. And if you have a baby who likes sleep then I am mildly (read: very) jealous. Next to breastfeeding, sleep was our biggest challenge. I had a baby who seemed to survive on a fraction of the amount of sleep the books said she needed, who did not fall for any of the “tricks” like babywearing, the stroller, or the car seat, who did not have any sort of regularity or pattern to her sleep, who woke at the smallest noise, and who, still to this day, has never fallen asleep on her own. We did eventually figure out a rhythm that worked for us, and that meant she spent most of her first year napping on me. At almost 2-years-old, she still does for part of her daily nap. While sometimes I wish I would have more time to get things done during the day, I’m grateful for the chance to slow down and snuggle my sweet babe. This time has gone so fast already, and I will never regret the time I spent getting in all the cuddles I could!


Picture
The early days. Pride, elation, exhaustion, with a side of "what am I doing?"

My Body:
Expectation: I was fairly healthy before I got pregnant. I was at a healthy goal weight, eating a whole foods diet that made me feel really good, exercising, and had a lot of energy. Sure, I slipped a little (or a lot) when I was pregnant. But I was eating for two, right? Baby NEEDED McDonald’s french fries every other day. Or pizza every week. But I was sure that after she was born I’d get right back on track. I was going to give myself a little time to recover, and then when she was a month old I was going to start back with my healthy diet, and when I got the all-clear from my midwife at my 6-week postpartum checkup I was going to start exercising again.

Reality: Nope and nope. I did not realize how *starving* I would be while exclusively breastfeeding a baby, and that I would eat at least two times more than an Olympic weightlifter at every meal. Needless to say, this was not conducive to rapid postpartum weight loss! As for exercise, I would have loved to get moving more, but when was I going to have time between all the nursing and not sleeping? I have lost my pregnancy weight, but it has been a much slower, more gradual process than I imagined. Luckily chasing a busy toddler has provided me with some daily cardio, and once she started eating more solids, weight loss became much easier.


As you can see, my first year of motherhood didn’t go quite as planned! I had some pretty unrealistic expectations of my baby and myself, but I have learned so, so much in these few short years, and know I have so much to continue to learn. Part of my growth has come from realizing that it’s okay to scale down my expectations of myself, and to be gentler with myself as I navigate the ever-changing stages of parenthood. Once I started doing that, I really began to enjoy the whole process a lot more. The second year has been much more manageable, and while I know we will have many challenges to come, I’m prepared to face them with grace and some more realistic expectations.
~Kelsey

Picture





Kelsey Voelker is a labor doula and lactation educator with Full Circle Birth Collective. Learn more about Kelsey here.



0 Comments
    Welcome to Full Circle's blog, creating content for our clients and readers with a focus on all things pregnancy, birth and beyond. 
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    Birth
    Birth Prep
    Birth Stories
    Breastfeeding
    Cloth Diapers
    DIY
    Doula Approved
    Herbs
    Humour
    Hypnobabies
    Learning
    Loss
    New Baby
    Newborn
    Pandemic
    Parenting
    Placenta
    Postpartum
    Rainbow Baby
    Recipes
    Reflections
    Sacred Pregnancy
    Siblings
    Sleep
    Solstice
    Trust In Your Body

    Archives

    January 2023
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    October 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    December 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    May 2018
    April 2018
    January 2018
    October 2017
    August 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    November 2014

    RSS Feed

Office Location

By appointment only
7903- 14 Ave SW
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
​T6X 1H3

What Our Clients Are Saying

Contact Us

    How can we help?

Submit
  • Home
  • Meet the team
    • Our Labour Doula Team
    • Our Postpartum Doula Team
  • Classes & Services
    • Parent Drop in groups
    • Coaching Support for Parents
    • Yoga for Pregnancy & Postpartum
    • Classes for Partners
    • Celebrations >
      • First Moon Celebration
      • Birth Blessing
      • Postpartum >
        • Pregnancy Circle
    • Virtual Online Support
    • Placenta Support >
      • Placenta Information
    • Local Resources
  • Infant CPR
  • Become a Doula
    • Labour Doula Training
    • Postpartum Doula Training
    • Continuing Education for Doulas
    • Scholarships
  • Private Prenatal Packages
  • Blog
  • Contact us
  • Full Circle Shop