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Living with baby

1/8/2017

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​My husband and I are six weeks in to our lifetime journey of having a child. While preparing for our daughter’s arrival, we purchased a number of sleep options. We had heard from many of our parent friends and family members that their child would refuse to sleep in their crib, or bassinet, and knowing how important sleep is, we decided to be prepared, and have a number of accessible options. One of the items we decided to try was the DockATot Deluxe.
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How I used it 

Living in an older house and with the increasingly warm summer heat. My husband and I found ourselves no longer able to sleep in our upstairs bedroom. Our in-room thermometer showed temperatures to be averaging between 27-29 degrees during the evenings, and as new parents we were constantly anxious about the possibility of overheating. Luckily for us we had access to a basement bedroom. However, due to the size of that bedroom, we were unable to bring our bassinet into the room with us. This left us with little options-either leave our daughter in her crib in the room beside us, alone, something we were not comfortable with, or have our daughter in our bed.

What is a DockAToT?

For those who are unfamiliar, the DockATot is a “multi-functional lounging, playing, chilling, resting and snuggling dock you can take anywhere.” Created in Sweden there is “simply nothing else like it on the market that allows mothers to feed, soothe and bond with baby.” The DockATot comes in two different sizes. The DockATot Deluxe (for ages 0-9 months) and the DockATot Grand (for ages 9-36 months.)

​The DockATot website claims the device is perfect for numerous activities, such as lounging, tummy time, bonding, bed transitioning, playing, cuddling, resting, changing, and for use around the house.

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The idea of bed-sharing made us equally anxious.  
I am a person who cannot sleep without a blanket and multitude of pillows, and after a few nights of sleeping with my daughter on my chest. We decided  to, on the recommendation of a friend, transition her to sleeping in our bed, inside of the DockATot.

That being said, we were fully educated and aware of the sleep safe recommendations, and understood that technically the DockATot does not meet safe sleep recommendations as recommended by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics).

We encourage anyone who considers letting their child sleep unsupervised in the DockATot to do their research and to make their own independent decision into the best sleep situation for their family.

The Co-sleeping Controversy 

​Prior to the birth of my daughter, I was avidly against co-sleeping and bed-sharing for safety reasons. However, reality hit hard after her arrival and I discovered that my new baby would not sleep anywhere other than in my arms or bed. I was frequently breastfeeding to establish milk supply, and my sleepy newborn required mother assisted wakeups. She would scream and cry anytime she was left in her bassinet, and soon I found myself too tired to handle her care. Having her in my bed helped all of us have a better sleep, and frank discussion within my 200-member strong pregnancy turned parenting group revealed that almost everyone else was co-sleeping as well.

Portability

The DockATot is lightweight and is easy to bring with you from place to place. I often use the DockATot for supervised naps when I need to be places other than my bedroom. If I am upstairs working at my computer, my daughter and the DockATot come with me. This allows for my daughter to be nearby at all times, even during naps and makes it easy to soothe her during wake-ups.. I find the portability of the DockATot extremely convenient, and plan to bring it with me even for long trips and camping. (Check back in September for my blog post on camping with your baby, in which I will be featuring the DockATot again!)

Resting

My daughter slept better in the DockATot than anywhere else. She cannot roll over in it, and the DockATot along with a swaddle, help reduce her moro reflex and reduce nighttime wake-ups. Our first night in the DockATot, my daughter slept six hours straight. This continued until her six week growth spurt and sleep regression, in which she is still getting three hour chunks of sleep. I sleep more soundly knowing that my daughter is beside me, but not directly in my bed.

                               

​ What I Don’t Love about it


Washing


The DockATot comes with a removable cover that can be easily washed and dried when exposed to the inevitable newborn messes of breastmilk, spit up and other bodily excretions. However, the DockATot cover is extremely difficult to replace once washed. I found putting the cover back on my DockATot a two man and two hour job. Something that is even more difficult to do, when you are also trying to take care of a baby.

Changing

The DockATot makers recommend the DockATot for use as a changing station. However, at the cost and with how difficult putting a newly washed DockATot cover is. I would never use it to change my baby in. Anyone who has changed a newborn (or any baby for that matter) knows that they love to pee and poo the minute their diaper has been removed, and regardless of whether you have replaced that diaper with a new one. As well, many of the DockATot cover patterns are white, or have white designs in them. Have you ever washed newborn poop out of white fabric? I have, and let me tell you, it’s not pretty.




Side note:
Co-sleeping is not recommended by the Health Canada or by Alberta Health. Both organizations recommend a flat, firm surface, with no pillows or blankets, and not within an adult bed.
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**Disclaimer: Be please aware that we are not promoting any specific sleep situation. I am only detailing my own personal experiences and the things that worked best for our family. 


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For educational purposes on why some people choose co sleeping and bed sharing, our doula team recommends:
Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears
The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin
Sweet Sleep by Theresa Pitman
Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent’s Guide to Cosleeping
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by Dr. James McKenna 

Three in a bed by Deborah Jackson

​Further educational resources  
Safe Sleep Resources from Platypus Media
Where Babies Sleep from the ISIS Infant Sleep Information Source
Guidelines to Sleeping Safe with Infants by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.
Safe Sleep 7: Is it safe to bedshare? is a free handout for parents, produced by La Leche League International
Infant Health Research: Bed Sharing, Infant Sleep and SIDS from the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative
Attachment Parenting International – Infant Sleep Safety
Babies sharing their mothers’ beds while in hospital: a sample policy from the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative
Guideline on Co-Sleeping and Breastfeeding, Clinical Protocol Number 6 from the Academy for Breastfeeding Medicine
AAP Policy Statement: SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths: Expansion of Recommendations for a Safe Infant Sleeping Environment (Oct. 17, 2011)

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DIY Postpartum & Baby Products

9/1/2017

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Disclaimer: It is very important to discuss any herbs or medicinal remedies that you plan to use with your primary care provider. Some people with sensitivities to flowers may experience allergic reactions to things such as Chamomile or Chickweed.

For more information regarding herbal use in pregnancy and postpartum, check out these resources: 

Susan Weed 
​Demeter Clark

​Aviva Romm


DIY Postpartum/Baby Products 
Part I 


Having been previously directed to the wellnessmama.com website by a friend of family, I decided to spend my free afternoon creating a few of the recommended DIY projects in preparation of my birth.

While the natural ingredients can be more expensive to purchase in the beginning, you tend to end up saving money in the long run by creating your own products at home, because they are usually more versatile and last for quite a long time.
 
We decided to start with the Postpartum Sitz Bath. Overall, I found the recipe very easy to follow. It required only mixing together the blend of recommend herbs to help promote healing after childbirth. 


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Postpartum Sitz Bath
Link

In a mason jar, I combined:

¼ cup Comfrey Leaf
½ cup Lavender Flowers (mmm, my favourite scent!)
¼ cup Plantain Leaf
½ cup Red Raspberry Leaf (this makes great tea as well)
¼ cup Yarrow Flower
¼ cup Calendula Flowers
¼ cup Shepherd’s Purse
¼ cup Ova Ursi Leaf
¼ cup Epsom Salts or Sea Salt

After all ingredients were added I sealed the mason jar and put it in my handy, ‘After Childbirth Healing’ bin in my bathroom. I made sure to put some Muslin Bags in the bin as well so that I could skip straining the herbs from the bathtub and instead just soak with them. 
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​According to Wellness Mama, this mixture can also be used in a peri-bottle to reduce any stinging that may occur during urination after childbirth (if you have any tearing or episiotomy, but also just to help with healing) and diluted for use around your baby’s umbilical cord as it dries.

With how simple the Sitz Bath recipe was, we then decided to try our hands making some Baby Oil as well.

Baby Oil
Link: This link lists several natural baby care items you can make! I will eventually be trying my hands at almost all (if not all) of them. Today, I will only be making the baby oil.

Warning: As always, before the first application of ANY kind of oil on your baby’s skin, put a drop on their arm to make sure your baby is not allergic to the oil. If you choose to use an oil other than one listed below, please research to make sure that the oil you have chosen is safe for your baby’s skin. Again, please check with your primary care provider if you have any questions or concerns about what may or may not be unsafe for your baby.

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Ingredients:

1 cup Olive Oil or Apricot Oil
2 tablespoons Calendula Flowers
2 tablespoons Chamomile Flowers

For this recipe I decided to use Sweet Almond Oil instead of Olive or Apricot Oil. Sweet Almond Oil is highly nourishing and contains high level of Vitamins A, B2, B6 and Vitamin E. Mostly because I already had it in my pantry.

There are two methods of creating the oil that are recommended by Wellness Mama. One is a fast infusion, which involves heating the oil with the Calendula and Chamomile Flowers mixed in.

I am only 17 weeks pregnant and I have some time to kill before my baby gets here, so I opted to try the slow infusion method. This involves putting the oil and flowers in a mason jar and sealing it, shaking daily, for 6-8 weeks prior to use.

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I plan to create quite a few DIY postpartum and baby products. This is going to be a great money saving endeavor, and I find it very comforting knowing exactly what ingredients are in the things I will be putting on my body and on my baby.

Over the next few months I will be sharing more DIY recipes that you may want to try for yourself and your baby. You can follow along with my posts to see the recipes as I create them, or feel free to visit the Wellness Mama website and do it on your own!

These recipes were taken from https://www.wellnessmama.com,
​check out her website for more great DIY recipes! 

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Unto us a Child

14/12/2016

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     Baby Magic
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You walk into a room where a newborn sleeps, and her presence fills up the room!
Whether it’s our species’ genes celebrating their eternal life through another generation; our mammalian compulsion to care for the helpless young; or simply that a baby is pure love incarnate,
there’s no denying the magic of birth – we humans are natural-born baby-worshippers! Their newly-forged spirits shine brightly, and we sense something so special about this new being.
 
The ancient Celts talked of thin places – places where the barrier is thin between heaven and earth. Samhain is a time when the veil is thin between the worlds. Birthing time is one of those special, thin times, too – the veil is thin as baby crosses over into this world.[1]
 Poet William Wordsworth describes newborns: “trailing clouds of glory do we come… Heaven lies about us in our infancy“
 It’s hard to believe! A year ago, I was cuddling my tiny, fragile-seeming newborn, still just days old.


[1] I came across this idea in a blog post and love it – it has become incorporated into my own spiritual philosophy. I regret I cannot credit the woman who introduced me to the idea – her blog post is lost to me in a long trail of cyberspace history…


All Creation Waits, (c) Jan L. Richardson. janrichardson.com

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​ Advent and the Universal Child

​As a child, I loved Christmas. I still do. I loved setting up the nativity scene, all figures – human, animal, and angelic - centered around the newborn.  I loved gathering as a family around the tree on Christmas Eve to hear my dad read a nativity story from the Bible. For me, the feelings of this holiday: excitement, anticipation, awe - have always been akin to the way I feel about birth.
 
​Then as an adult I learned that midwinter has long been associated with birth and birth legend, complete with deities and celestial wonders – in fact, because of this, in some cultures, solstice has been called Mother’s Night.[1]

What a beautiful season for my own birthing time!
 
I realized that one of the reasons for the mass emotional resonance Christmas has, is that, perhaps, deep down we are recognizing the specialness of every child born when we celebrate this sacred birth - a celebration of the inherent worth and dignity of each of us.

[1] Llewellyn’s Sabbat Essentials: Yule: Rituals, Recipes, and Lore for the Winter Solstice, Llewellyn Publications, Woodbury, MN, 2015.

Mary and the Universal Mother
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When you’re expecting, hopes and fears are written larger than life!
 
I wrestled with the contrast between the cherished, celebrated newborn and the isolation and hardship the human journey can lead through:  
because of my decision to have a baby, 50 years from now there could be a homeless man, perhaps mentally ill and estranged from his family. Or 80 years down the road, an isolated woman lying in a hospital bed…
 
It can break a new mom’s heart to think that I won’t always be there to help my child in her times of need. But that’s as it should be – every child needs their village, all through their life. But there are things I can do…

  • I can give her the loving foundation that will help her all her life.
  • I can help create the world that I want my child to be born into –
a world where our vulnerable times are met with loving support by those around us.
  • I am surrounded by other mothers’ children (of all ages) everywhere I go – I can treat them with
the gentleness and compassion that a loving mother hopes for their child to be met with in the world.
I can honour the essential spirit in each of us, that shines so clearly at our births.
Through my fears, I met the comfort and practical love of the universal mother.
 
Anne Lamott writes, in her book, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year, “it helps me beyond words to look at myself through the eyes of Mary, totally adoring and gentle, instead of through the critical eyes of the men at the Belvedere Tennis Club, which is how I’ve looked at myself nearly all my life. I don’t think the men at the Belvedere Tennis Club would look at this big exhausted, weepy, baggy, mentally-ill, cellulite unit we call Anne Lamott and see a beautiful, precious, heroic, child. But Mary does.”

Longest Night, (c) Jan L. Richardson. janrichardson.com

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​    Nature Baby

One of the spiritual experiences I had while expecting was how connected I felt to the world around me – to the generations, especially to the birthing experiences of my foremothers; and I experienced my body as a connected part of nature – just another mammal - in gestation, birth in my snug den, snuggling and nursing my little cub, and watching her grow! It felt so fitting that she was kindled in the springtime, when Mother Earth is vibrant with fertility.
It’s amazing how the process just flows along, beyond my own volition, like watching a garden grow through the summer.
It was amazing to experience my body and hers spiral apart, in that ancient dance our bodies naturally knew so well.
 
Nature is the foundation of my spirituality, so it was very special to experience myself as part of nature in this new way.  

Archetypal Journey
​

While I was pregnant, for the first time I noticed how strange it is to call newborns “the new arrival.” I mean, who are we kidding? They’ve been here all along! (pats belly) It’s not as if they had to pack a bag for the flight (as sweet as the “stork” idea is).
I preferred to think of birth as a baby’s transformation from water creature to earth creature – taking its first breath.
 
But the idea of a journey turned out to be a powerful metaphor for me in birth. I saw a sea before me, with a distant shore, which I crossed over to in a little personal sized boat - to return together with the baby. The birthing waves carried us onward, along with a fair bit of rowing by me! It was archetypal – a hero’s journey, with no guarantee of a safe return for either of us.
 
It was an identity-transforming journey, in which I started to identify with the role of Mother - I learned new depths of my determination and resolve, and new heights of gratitude for the grace
that allowed me to bring my baby safely home.
 
Does it seem strange to you that I speak in such epic, legendary terms of an ordinary event that happens every day? But this is one of life’s beautiful mysteries – each of our lives, from birth to death – is ordinary… and legendary!

Every Night a Holy Night, by Wendy Luella Perkins,
​was a theme song for me during my approach to motherhood – it fit so well with the spirit of the advent season! 
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Photo: Melissa with Lucy, 4 days old

These reflections were originally shared as part of a service at Westwood Unitarian Congregation, Edmonton, Alberta by past doula client, Melissa Hathaway. 


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